Way back in May 2007, I started writing a blog under the name Mocha Beanie Mummy. Weirdly, despite setting up with blogspot, I had no idea I was actually “blogging”. I was all “Omg I need somewhere to get this pregnancy related shit out of my head. I know, this bit of internet space will do.” It was actually titled Journey of The Mocha Beanie Mummy, since I planned to be in this for the long haul.

And whaddya know! Here I am, several years later, still splurging the random (often inappropriate) crap from inside my head. Only, this time I’m doing it “genre free”. I had an epic a minor meltdown doing a rebrand of my wedding photog site, and realised I needed to be ME. I needed to NOT be what I thought others thought I think I thought I should be.

You got that, right?

I think people get a bit nervous talking to me, not being sure what I’m going to say. So I’mma just put it all here instead. I’m not one for “trying to please the fans” (I have none), and I sure as hell am not very good at sugar coating (I swear I am SHIT at lying). I brought all my old blog stuff with me, because at the end of the day, it’s a part of me. I’m carrying on with the same old me, but under a much more comfortable title. This space is  mainly about me and my failings skills as a mother, wife, professional photographer, ex-professional cellist and a person fucked up with severe depression. (I’ve had depression since I was maybe 13, and, well just search “depression” over here and I’m sure you’ll find a ton of stuff.)

I have 2 frigging BRILLIANT boys – Little Small aged 3 9 and Big Small aged 5 10 (how the bloody hell has it been 5 years since I last updated this?!) – who are too good for their own good. I have my amazing sidekick “D” who is too good for my own good. I have a hankering for junk food, bacon and rum, which is all too good. One day, ask me about Bacon Boobs.

Oh by the way, here in my personal space, I’m a potty mouth. I cannot STAND swearing in front of kiddos, so here is where I let it all go. I get frustrated a lot, so here is where I vent my shit right out. As you’ll discover once you start reading. But of course, if you don’t like it, don’t read it. Obviously. So anyway, here I am, no frills, no fancy shit, no crazy whatever. Full of ideas, probably none of which will happen. At least my brain is still ticking over, though.

The name’s Jay. Nice to meet you.

Music

I’m a cellist, and spend a LOT of time working hard at being better, all the time. I’m pretty stubborn about it, and when someone tells me “yeah, you can’t do that”, chances are that after I’ve picked myself off the floor, put my broken self back together for the umpteenth time, and told my asshole brain to fuck off, I’ll work even harder than before.

I perform professionally for private functions and events, and play for fun with ensembles and orchestras.

Photography

I’m an analog film photographer, showing off my stuff over at Jay Emme Photography. I specialise in weddings where people are wiling to let go and be themselves, weddings where people don’t want cheesy crap, and above all else, weddings with couples who believe in true love and happy ever afters, no matter how difficult they may be.

I’m also responsible for Silent Sunday; click on something to read more about it. It’s a bit popular, which never ceases to amaze me.

Like the other eleventy billion users out there, I instagram the crap out of everything.